Last month I introduced The BadAss Quilters Private Community with a founding members launch to 500 BAQSers who requested a “Golden Ticket” for the chance to be a founding member of a new PAID community at $14.99 a month*.
240 or so people took me up on the offer for a private, passworded, and protected place on the web where they could share not only their passion for quilting but their experience of being a socially progressive human during a deeply divisive time in history.
The truth is that it can me anywhere from uncomfortable to down right oppressive to be in many quilting groups given the rampant homophobia, racial slurs and active and covert hate that many of them foster. (No not all but there is enough of it for it to be a VERY real thing.. if you have a great quilting group.. kudos to you!)
So while I had not planned to open up the doors again, as is the way of Facebook many people did not see the offer even when we did paid advertising for the invitations and I have been swamped with requests to open the doors back up and against my better judgement I did so and made some posts about it this past week.
In doing so I once again opened myself up to numerous women writing me (yes all women) telling me that I was … Selfish, greedy or full of myself to think people would want to join. Others suggested that I should be giving away free memberships every week if I was a truly “compassionate person”,and yet others made reference to my “rich bitch” home and that I obviously did not “need” the money since I had a husband.
So last night when I got a message that I needed to go look in the comments and I saw the PUBLIC POST from a woman (again a woman) who saw fit to express her “disappointment” that my membership offering was a paid one, I lost my last fuck, which is funny since I actually thought that I had no more fucks to give and yet there they were and I lost them in my reply back to her.
To be VERY clear I have not shared the names or letters from ANYONE who has written or DM’d me privately to chastised me for making a living. But when someone chooses to leave a PUBLIC comment expressing her “disappointment” in me for charging money for the work I do, all bets are off! People can play it off anyway they wish but it was a jab at shaming me for making a living.
Was it “lady-like” – Nope, did I throw in a nice selection of curse words, Yes, but when the hell was it deemed ok for women to demand, guilt, or shame other women (or any one) for charging money for their time and talents.
The sisterhood of the vagina in no way means I should not be paid, and paid well, for work I do with excellence. – Maddie Kertay
Never, EVER has anyone ever questioned the amount of money my husband charges for his work, sure they might not be able to afford him but NOT ONCE has anyone ever asked him to give away his work for free, or guilted him for supporting his family or giving generously to support serious social action for change.
And yet there is not a week that goes by that a woman does not make a snide comment (“must be nice to…..”) or write me “suggesting” that I should give away more stuff for free or at a discount or tell me their story of not being able to afford a BAQS jacket, or luxury mug with the implication that they would like me to extend them a discount. And do not get me started on the people who bitch at me about the cost of shipping… People, if I had a fresh battery for every time a person whined at me about that my vibrator would never be turned off! I don’t make any profit on shipping, it is a pass-through expense.
Please let me be clear that the VAST majority of BadAss Quilters are fucking amazing – you people are the cream in my Bullet Coffee, but as much as I would like to be immune to it the ones who piss in my Cheerios do at times get under my very human skin and as BadAss grows this happens more often, like daily, but I am learning to mostly let it slide, other times I am ALL about FUCK THAT SHIT.
I DO understand that that $14.99 is not in every budget and did not turn off the FREE Facebook group or make this website for members only, in fact I have added stuff, invested even more money and have been working in the background on some amazing offerings coming soon.
The fact is that it costs THOUSANDS of dollars of year for me to provide “free” content as does it for every other quilting, lifestyle and online person you know who is working at the top of their game. Sure you can blog for almost free, but even at that very lowest level you still have expenses to provide content.
Many of you understood this predicament and wrote me overnight about how your friends, family and online community are some of the worst in expecting FREE hair cuts from those who are stylists, FREE advice from money professionals, FREE patterns from quilt designers, the list goes on and on and many end up giving-in, giving up and then feeling really angry at themselves about it and wrote to say they understood my anger and spoke of their own deep issues and indicated solidarity. (Some people wrote to tell me to fuck off.. as expected)
As much as I would love to have deep conversations with all of you right now there is little time (house, kittens, business, kids, life) so I am doing a thing.
With this in mind I am starting a 30 Day Mentoring Challenge popup group for ALL BadAss Quilters who want to stand FULLY in their worth as business people. This is how things are going to roll, so if you are not cool with these following things this will NOT be the group for you.
- This is a FREE group for 30 days (the month of September). After that point it might be archived ( this is what I think will happen) or it might be turned into a PAID membership group, I have NO idea. If it becomes a paid group and that is not for you right now, that is cool. You will slip out quietly on October 1st having gained what you can from the experience. This is open to people who are self-employed, Online, brick and mortar, rising or starting employees.. if you make money for what you do and want to be fairly compensated then you are welcome.
- Within the group I am inviting my best and brightest business friends to come talk to you and share their knowledge with you and in exchange for them sharing they will also tell you about their business that helps women stand in their worthiness as workers, business owners, parents and women. I ask for you to thoughtfully consider what they might be able to help you with to take you own business game to the next level.
- Male BadAss Quilters ARE happily welcome in this space. ( My sandbox, my rules)
- Content will be delivered via posts in the FB group, ZOOMs, Crowdcasts, videos etc. It is your responsibility to check into the page to see what it up. Not all content will be available past the 30 day mark, so get it while it is hot!
- If you are cool with that then pop over and join. Introduce yourself. The ground rules will be over there but in short, don’t be a bitch, we are there to support each other in making money and providing value in what we do as well as to learn and find the confidence and clarity to jump off the FREE/ bend over/ guilt discount model of business and cultivate the courage to FULLY charge for your time and talents.
THE PASSWORD PHRASE IS FUCK THAT SHIT
CLICK HERE TO JOIN The 30 Day BadAss Quilter Mentoring Challenge
- The Private BadAss Community is now closed for the year but will open back up in January click HERE if you want to get an invite.
